Chrissy Teigen has spoken out about her recent struggle with loneliness in the “cancel club.”
Teigen opened up about her mindset in an Instagram post-Wednesday (July 14). In the lengthy caption, Teigen addressed her isolation after she joined the “cancel club” following the resurfacing of her comments toward viral sensation Courtney Stodden in the early 2010s.
Stodden, who rose to fame in 2011 after marrying 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchinson at age 16, accused Teigen of bullying her and sending death threats on Twitter in an interview last May.
Following the accusations, Teigen lost deals with major brands for her cookware and left a voiceover gig with the Netflix show Never Have I Ever, Yahoo Life reports.
Teigen apologized in two open letters posted on Medium and on social media, and the model has kept a low profile on social media since. In Wednesday’s Instagram, Teigen said that she had been depressed.
“I don’t really know what to say here…just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter s*** in real life. Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer. I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is OK,” she wrote.
She continued: “Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know ’til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow.”
“All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day. I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent s*** anymore! If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love u,” she wrote.
Since the bullying accusations, Teigen has primarily posted on Instagram, with her last post on her preferred platform, Twitter, being June 18.
The mental health advocate has previously opened up about her depression after she suffered the miscarriage of her son, Jack.