[Warning: Potentially Triggering Content]
Jessie J is mourning the loss of her unborn child.
The Price Tag singer took to Instagram on Wednesday to tell fans she had suffered a miscarriage after she had “decided to have a baby on [her] own” following her split from boyfriend of seven months, Max Pham. Alongside a photo of herself holding a pregnancy test, the 33-year-old explained she was told the devastating news on Tuesday. While going in for her third scan, doctors were unable to find a heartbeat.
The singer said she was “still in shock,” but decided to perform in Los Angeles later on Wednesday evening “because singing will help me.” She added:
“Yesterday morning I was laughing with a friend saying ‘seriously though how am I going to get through my gig in LA tomorrow night without telling the whole audience I am pregnant’. By yesterday afternoon I was dreading the thought of getting through the gig without breaking down… After going for my 3rd scan and being told there was no longer a heartbeat. This morning. I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know.”
Jessie made sure to explain that she wanted to “sing tonight” because she finds it healing, sharing:
“I know some people will be thinking she should just cancel it. But in this moment I have clarity on one thing. I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self love therapy, that hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way… I want to be honest and true and not hide what I’m feeling. I deserve that. I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment. Not just for the audience but for myself and my little baby that did it’s best.”
“I know myself and I know I would talk about it on stage because that’s who I am. So instead of a tearful emotional speech trying to explain my energy. This feels safer… I decided to have a baby on my own. Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short. To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again.”
The British performer noted that while the “sadness is overwhelming,” she’s “strong” enough to get through it — just like the “millions of women all over the world” who have felt a similar pain. She explained:
“I’m still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be ok. I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. So I will see you tonight LA. I may crack less jokes but my heart will be in the room.”
The post also contained a quote by Seyda Nor that read:
“Sometimes love won’t be enough to make it work and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed.”
We applaud the singer for being so open and honest about such a personal tragedy. Read her full post (below).
Wherever they are, we hope Jessie’s unborn baby hears their momma’s voice tonight.